we went to see henry rollins’ spoken word performance last sunday night. dave has seen him lots, both with the rollins band and without, but it was my first time (though i have listened to many of his spoken word albums). and i have to say, i think the years have been kind to dear henry. first of all, he wasn’t nearly as short as i thought he’d be; he’s basically average height. the way people talk, you’d think he was, like, 5′2″, or something. second, he was way funnier than i expected. not that he’s not a funny guy – i knew that much from listening to his old stuff. but if you know anything about him, you know that henry rollins is a self-proclaimed angry guy. and he tends to rant. which can be entertaining when it’s coming from an intelligent place, as his rants tend to do, but it can also be exhausting. i think, though, that henry has mellowed with age. he was hilarious. he talked for 3.5 hours, with no intermission, and 3 hours of that was straight up funny. i came away with a new found respect for mr. black flag, and, for better or worse, now i think of him as this angry little teddy bear. because, for all his anger and righteous indignation, i think he’s a total softie at his core. and he’s quite attractive. dave was all, “he’s definitely not as bulky as he used to be,” and i was like, “yeah, but he looks good. the bulk is gross; now he’s perfect. he’s definitely still pretty ripped under that shirt, you can tell… i mean, i guess he is. i don’t know. he’s okay.” all of this just kind of gushed out of my maw before i knew what i was saying. i haven’t had a celebrity crush in years, people. but between henry rollins and rami kashou from “project runway,” i’m feeling like quite the teeny-bopper. you know, now that i think about it, i’ve always been into guys who look like dave, with that same coloring & build. hell, i was into dave himself for years before we even met. he was this guy with amazing brown eyes who i’d see around town every couple of months. he always looked so tough to me, but also like he needed someone to be nice to him. (he does not remember me at all from this time period, which tarnishes the romantic aspect of this story a wee bit.) anyway, this went on for years before he finally started coming into the record store where i worked, and eventually asked me out. and so on and so.
a couple of days ago, dave, out of nowhere, says to me, “i want to start eating more healthfully.” this was a huge deal for two reasons: 1) i really believed that dave was going to be one of those men who had to be forced by his wife sometime in his sixties to give up butter and bacon and all manner of bad foodstuffs due to a looming medical predicament; and 2) i have been trying to eat better for the past 3 years, and dave has been completely unwilling to change anything about his diet the whole time, which makes it damn near impossible for me to get anything accomplished in that arena. i am the kind of person who cannot have any junk whatsoever in the house because if it’s there, i’ll eat it. it doesn’t matter that those pringles and little debbies aren’t technically “for me;” if they’re there, i know about it because i’m the sole grocery shopper. it doesn’t matter that they’re for your lunch. i didn’t buy myself any crap at the store, so i will just have to eat your crap. and then we’ll have to replace your crap because i’ve eaten it all. but now! now there will be no more crap! this is exciting. and you know how it came about? through music, because that’s how dave makes all major decisions. i’m only sort of kidding. he’s been listening to this band lately, and they sing about all these social issues, including animal cruelty and slaughterhouses and the like. since dave can’t just listen to a band without knowing their entire history, he knows that this band was a huge influence on the likes of ian mackaye and the d.c. scenesters, many of whom are co-op shopping, no-meat eating, green living progressives. in other words, these are the kind of people whose ranks i’ve wanted to join for years. dave doesn’t drink or smoke or do drugs (well, not that he would these days, anyway, but i mean he never did, even when the rest of us were dabbling) because he subscribes to the “straight edge” philosophy, and this band he’s been listening to, beefeater (ha! it’s gin and carnivores at once!), extends the straight edge thing to the food they put into their bodies, and how they spend their money (in terms of buying local, organic, and fair trade products when possible). which makes sense. in fact, i can’t believe i never thought of using that argument on him myself.
so that’s pretty much what’s been going on with us this week. i’m so glad march starts tomorrow. february, with your flu and your rain and your chills and your dreariness, you can totally kiss my ass. i don’t think i’ve had spring fever this bad since, like, maybe high school. bring on the daffodils and dogwoods!
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